I will start by saying that I really can not believe how quick the time has gone since my last post. We are in April! That is like a quarter of the year gone. How mad is that?!

Finally we have some sun (although not a much as we would all like), and thank the heavens that the coldness is slowly moving on (although not quick enough).

I can smell drizzling meat from all the BBQ's which are on the horizon, and I can taste the cold beer and salt and vinegar crisps which I will be slipping down and munching on whilst reading Woman's Weekly in our local pub garden.

However, as much as I am excited about the prospect of warmer climates, panic mode has started to set in. This is because it means that we are getting closer to it being only one year until we wed. Eeeek!

So I promised to provide further details to the second venue, and here goes.....

Quite oddly, before Ali had proposed I took my mum to this place as I had always been keen to have a nose around. It was a lovely place but was all forgotten about as I was not getting married any time soon.

.... that kinda changed! But it took me a long time to go back to this venue for reasons I can not explain. Sometimes when you delve into such a huge task as looking for somewhere to host your special day you forget to see what is on your door step. It was only once we had decided on doing the deeds at the local Town Hall that we had a moment of brightness and thought about hosting our reception here.

We needed plenty of outside space. Tick. This place offers huge outside space and even overlooks the local family of deer.  We wanted a short journey from the Town Hall. Tick. It is a two minute walk from the Town Hall and I love the idea of us all walking in a parade from the ceremony to this place. We loved the idea of holding a tea party. Tick. The decor and facilities means we can serve plenty of tea and cakes. And we wanted something in keeping with our values. Tick. The profits go back to the council who keep the grounds of the park and the house in top condition. The people that look after the building are also sound as a pound, and are very open to ideas (of which, I have many).

We had a look around together on a cold and grotty Sunday morning. Despite the greyness of the outside world, we both really liked the feel of the building and equally appreciated the level of flexibility on offer. More than anything, we loved that we would go back to this place time and time again in our future lives and so it would hold some sort of relevance in our latter years.

So, venue number two is, Clissold Park House.

Many of our close friends and family will know that Ali and I have found the process of finding the 'right' place to get married and celebrate our commitment quite hard.  We have been searching for more than four months and with that a lot of time spent on researching, emailing, visiting, negotiating, and discussing.

The struggle to find somewhere was mainly down to three reasons:

Firstly, we had no idea what kind of venue we wanted when starting our hunt (this meant we needed to see an array of different types of venues to allow us to see what felt right). 

Secondly, and most obvious, was that those venues we did really like ended up offering us stupidly high prices once VAT and extras were added up (and with me being as tight as a ducks ass, I was immediately put off). 

And lastly, when we did narrow down our venues to a shortlist we both quickly realised that actually, we really did not feel comfortable with the stuffiness, strictness, and rather 'over the topness' being offered by these places. Whilst of course they would have made for amazing settings and would have provided guests with the 'wow' factor, we deemed the ability to let our hair down and be ourselves in a more natural and 'us' setting far more important. We were also adamant that we wanted to bring in elements of our own personalities, which unfortunately, none of these venues didn't allow for (or if they did, we would have to pay the price). This meant it was back to square 1....

Funny enough, when we started to look around the second batch of venues we kept going back to the very first place we looked at. It just seemed to fit in! Although, there were some logistical issues which prevented me from committing (outside space, where to go after the ceremony etc etc).

And then, one day, when discussing 'where we should do the deeds' Ali said something which stuck so vividly in my mind and was just so romantic. When I asked him where he would be getting ready on the morning of the wedding, he said something along the lines of...

"At home. I want to get ready in our home, and then walk down the road I always walk down saying to myself, I am getting married today."

And it was then, that I said we should get married at our local Stoke Newington Town Hall. 

 

 (for copyright purposes photos not taken by me, but edited by me)

This is a place we have been to and passed many times. A place which I see every time I go and come back from work. A place which allows Ali to wake up and jet off down the road singing, 'I'm getting married in the morning'....

It has meaning to us (this is the town where we first bought our first home and confirmed that we would be committed to each hopefully for a very, very long time). It will also continue to have meaning for us in the future. You can marry anywhere, but for us, it had to be somewhere which will hold a history towards the making of our married life.

We will have a relaxed ceremony, then enjoy a warm toasting with some sparkly in a lovely room before you all throw confetti on us as we make our exit and go off to the second venue (which i will reveal later).

Woooo hoooo.... now time to do the exciting wedding stuff! 

 

Alex

Alex is my fourth bridesmaid. Alex is Ali's sister, but in many ways, has also been my sister (and equally a great friend) for the last 9 years. I must thank Alex for being ever so welcoming, allowing me to come into her family and be apart of it. You hear of horrible stories about how unpleasant sister-in-laws can be.... but not this one! She has always been so nice to me, provided a huge shoulder for me to lay on in the wee hours of the morning when I have been drunk and emotional, and has rocked at making me feel as though I belong to the Gow-Smith's brood! She also buys me the best presents when it is my birthday and at Christmas.

Alex is very unique and individual character. There is something immensely intriguing about her, making you want to know more about what makes her tick. I have done some digging and have found out this this beautiful lady has a bloody strong head on her tiny shoulders, and is quite the determinist that I am (we share the same star signs, Scorpio). She does not give up and fights for what she believes in. She will stick up for you in any situation, but is confident enough to put you back on the straight and narrow if need be. She offers excellent advice and is full of encouragement when you are in a period of self doubt. She speaks a lot of truth, and will let others hear it. She also has this massively sensitive side, which may not always be so apparent (again, I think we share a lot of similarities). She will cuddle you, listen to you, offer advice, and remind you of the things that matter in life. Alex is full of life and should most probably work for Time Out as she is always going to the next cool thing in London. When I first met her I was shocked at how much energy this petite girl had... her diary was rammer jammer with events happening in London. Above all, she is the most amazing sister to her brother Ali. He is very lucky to have her. She is his friend and his support system, and in recent years this has proved vital.

 Alex and I have shared some great times. We have also had some of the most deep and meaningful conversations I have ever had with anyone. It amazes me that we can be so close. We have had some good dancing (again, she is a lover of the beat and dancefloor) too, and been on some fantastic adventures! Could you get any better than traveling to the Galapagos and seeing lonesome George!

I am looking forward to Alex's honesty and her 'get up and go' attitude during the next year and a half. I am certain she will also ensure a quality action packed hen do and cake filled luncheon. Her presence as a bridesmaid will mean the world to Ali and I on the day, Not forgetting her parents, Nigel and Nancy, who I am sure will feel like the proudest mum and dad ever when they see their son and daughter on the day of our wedding.

Ruth

Rutheeeeeeee......

Ruth is like the sweetest person to live on this planet! She seriously is! Even when she is trying to be angry, she is so sweet with it. Ruth is also really funny and tremendously fun to be around. I have always ended up laughing my ass off when I am in her company as the pics above will testify. And, what a little mover! You see, anyone who loves to dance is automatically listed high on my books... but this girl, damn she throws out some good moves (which makes her the best buddy when you want a good night out).

Ruth has this unique and very special air of calmness which is so rare to come across (especially in London). You instantly feel at peace in her company, and this is a quality I love most about this little gem for a friend. Now, have I also mentioned that Ruth is mega good with crafts and has this immense artistic side which I find so inspirational and intriguing. No doubt her gentle, calming persona and crafty hands will mean Ruth will prove to be the essential bridesmaid any bride could wish for!

Rutheeee and I met at University, I think in the second year. Her partner Kaz was good friends with my boy Ali and a few of our other friends. We hit it off immediately, through a shared love of getting tipsy and then singing out loud and having a wiggle and a jive. I felt very at ease in Ruth's company, and sure enough we would talk the night away (with a glass a vino in hand) every couple of weeks.

Once we had a fantastic Christmas Dinner held at Ali's student house... I believe that this is when we really it it off. The two of us were like naughty school kids, and laughed so hard my belly hurt for a good few days afterwards. I don't think we spent less then five minutes apart on that day, and I learned very quickly that Ruth was an ace gal!

We continued to meet up whilst at University and share some really fun and random nights out. It was great that we both had partners who were mates, as it meant that we could go off and dance and sing the night away. After University we got closer as friends, enjoying meals at Aladins (which is by the way, the best restaurant ever), discussing our aspirations, and providing each other with needed advice.

I must say, Ruth provided me with a deeper sense of adventure; to be more exploratory and delve deeper into my interests (which at the time was a new found interest in photography). She was a girl who spent a lot of time in India researching fabrics, and a girl who would continue to go off on little journeys to be more knowledgeable in those things she felt passionate about. It became refreshing to be around Ruth, and I would always feel inspired and have more oomph to challenge myself.

As we were building a closer relationship it was sad to say bye to Ruth when Ali and I moved down to London in 2010. I really liked this girl and really enjoyed my time spent with her!

However, a few years later (in 2012) I was over the moon to find out that little Ruthee had only gone and moved around the corner from where Ali and I had set up sticks. Wooo hooooo!

Since then, we have become extremely close (with her being around the corner we spend a lot more time together). I now see Ruthee as one of me bestmates and definitely a friend for life! I love her free spirit, her outlook on life, and her fun and upbeat personality. She makes me smile, laugh out loud, and encourages me to lead a more creative life. Rutheee is cute and sweet, but has the best sense of  humor (the girl is so dry and witty). She is also very caring, and would always be there at the drop of a hat if you needed (this is fills me with reassurance as I know I will have some mad erratic moments in the months to come). Ruthee is also another great dance partner... which makes me think I am going to have to buy some flat shoes as this girl will make me dance like there is no tomorrow on my Big Day!

Sarah

I just don't know where to start with this gorgeous young lady!! I have so many things I want to scribble on here... She is awesome! And has always brought out the fun, childlike and slightly looney toon side of me (which in day-to-day life society tells you to hide). I am always mega excited to be in her company and SO happy Sarah is one of my bridesmade. No doubt she will wipe my tears, and get me giggling through reminiscing the old times on the Big Day...

We meet in the Oak House halls of residence in 2003. Looking back Sarah was very delicate and in the first few weeks as she found it very hard being away from home and living with a bunch of crazy and quite loud teenage girls. We bonded straight away though... One night in particular helped us come together when she got a wee bit drunk and had to be carried home. She had me in stitches that night telling me her tales from her home town Newcastle, whilst randomly diving into prickly bushes. There must have been a few bruises the next day!! Soon enough she would repay the favor and help me when I had downed too many shots of sambucca...

Over that year we got on famously well, and had SO much fun! We would make up songs ('Toxic Chicken' was the best), danced anywhere we liked (beds, stairs, supermarkets, tables, buses and even in the street), take turns to ride each other in the local Sainsbury's shopping trolleys, walk around with plastic bags on our head, and not to mention, naked wrestle at four in the morning on the local sports ground.

We also generally took care of each other when either one of us was down in the dumps. We gave each other lots of cuddles, ate a lot of comfort food, and slagged a lot of men off!

We could not bare to be apart, and if we ever were apart, would write letters to each other (sending each other sweets, and photos and continue to write about the 'toxic chicken'). 

In the summer term of 2004 Sarah and I had arranged to travel across Europe. She came to stay with me back in Preston (where I lived at the time) so we could get on with our planning. We enjoyed some large nights out in Preston Town, and got carried away with excitement about where we would visit on our travels in the daytime.  However, a terrible thing happened a week into our fun, in that I unexpectedly had a miscarriage. I was in a lot of pain, was terrified, and really did not know what was going on. At the time my parents were on their holidays. I thank the lord I had Sarah with me... she kept me calm and assured and provided me with motherly comfort. Sadly, the plans to go on our travels were short lived. I had to go to hospital and have an operation, and from then on take things easy. We did however decide on going on a cheap two week package holiday to Greece a few weeks later. This was the best thing we could have done to take our minds of things. It was such a fantastic, girly holiday packed with so much laughter, randomness, and fun adventures.

Sarah and I continued to live with each other during the next two years of University. In those years Sarah developed into a 'Mother Hen' character always putting other people first, always providing comfort whether in the form of tasty snacks or a great big cuddle, and always making sure everyone else was cared for. It was so reassuring to have Sarah around, and whilst she would still remain the one person you could revert back to childlike ways with, she was also there for you when those dark clouds hung over your head.

Over the years we have developed our little lives and have grown into adults. You could say that with this comes a new level of seriousness, and whilst in many ways it does, it is so lovely to catch up with this girl to be able to shove off 'adulthood' and go back to being a little silly, carefree, and spontaneous!

Sarah my luv, you have so many sweet characteristics which so many people in this world lack, and so I am always deeply grateful that we met and have continued to build our relationship. Even when we are in our 80's we will still be rocking out the toxic chicken moves, have eat offs, and wipe each others tears when we get bumped by life.

Introducing the bridesmades

Janey

 

Jane and I met at Hutton Grammar School. She rescued me (I started term late and was like the 'new kid on the block'). She talked to me in our Philosophy lessons, and we quickly realised that our  then boyfriends were mates. We had pretty bad first relationships and grew closer as we shared our stories, moans, and worries. Jane was also a girl who loved dancing... I also loved dancing. We used to go out, get drunk and dance the night away. Anyone dare interupt! I really started to like this girl. She was so strong minded, independent and would not put up with shit. UMMMMM.... you could say, a lot like me. She was also so loving, caring and gave real good solid advice when needed. Over the years we have shared so many experiences, mostly fun (some scary). I have seen Jane grow into a gorgeous young lady. We have both gone off and down our own thing but have always remained extrememly close and supportive of one another. Now, somehow, we have both ended up living close by in London . I am very, very lucky to have her ... 

I said yes...

Some pics from that very special moment... the boy done good!

We got keys....

Ali (his actual name is Alastair) and I met in 2003. I was quite drunk, and flew into his flat in Oak House (a grotty student residence where he lived downstairs in Flat 4 and I lived upstairs in Flat 3) wearing a fairy costume and plonked myself on his lap. I was quite loud then, certainly not shy. He seemed to respond to my Northern banter (he was a 'posh' London Boy). We said good bye, and that was that.

A few days later, I bumped into Ali down a corridor in the department of Social Anthropology, Manchester University. We found out we were both studying the same course. I helped him A LOT in the first 6 months of that study year. I would talk through my notes, overlook his essays, and plan revision sessions. ha ha... now that I am saying this, it is obvious that this was his little 'trick up his sleeve.' It certainly worked though,  as we built a great friendship and slowly developed a very special bond.

Towards the end of the first study year I was getting down in the dumps. I had fallen for Ali but did not know for sure what was happening with 'us.' We were very casual up until this point. However, as we would be apart for a good few months I initiated the 'we need to talk' talk. This was the best decision ever... he asked me to see him in his tiny bedroom. He gave me a bag of pick n mix (I bought a bag of sweets everyday and always saved him the chewy sweets as he much preferred these to my white chocolate mice). He told me that when I went back home over the summer, if anyone asked, I should say that I had a boyfriend.

Woo hooooo :-)

In 2006 we both graduated with flying colours,  and our parents met for the first time at our graduation ceremony. Everyone felt so proud, and it was a lovely, special day. We looked ridiculous in those gowns though.

We also took a big leap in our very relaxed relationship, and moved into our first place together. It was a dive! The decor was so bad. But we had some smashing parties there and began sharing our passion for cooking / eating / and slobbing around in our really unattractive pants. I think it was around this time when I developed an addiction to crisps... cheese dorritos were a fave!

In 2007 we realised we needed careers and the partying should probably calm down a bit. We moved flats (due to a squiral infestation at the old flat), went back to University full time and studied for our Masters Degree.  It was a dull year, heads stuck in library books and so little spare cash that going out was off the cards most weekend. Not much happened, but we did learn to cook on a budget and realised that we both loved nature programmes.

In 2008 we graduated with postgraduate degrees. It was a  huge relief, knowing that we could finally start living a decent life again (rather than be secluded from each other day in day out, due to having to study and work part time).

At Christmas we went to visit my parents in the US (they had moved in 2006), and came back to brand new sparkling jobs. I worked in Human Resources; Ali in Environmental Management. We started to feel like adults.

In 2009 we were given the best gift in the world, BamBam!! Bless, she was so scared when she came to us unexpectedly (her mum had to give her away at very short notice). Slowly she started to realise that we loved her loads, and would spoil her rotten in the near future.

Early 2010 I was made redundant from my job. However, it did not matter as Ali's parents made our dreams come true... they took us on a once in a life time holiday to Ecuador and the Galapagos! We had been craving to visit the blue footed boobies and pay Lonesome George a visit for quite a few years and so this holiday was as they say. 'amaze balls!'

Back to reality, and with me jobless and most of our friends having moved on, we decided to move to London. We landed decent jobs, and moved within a matter of weeks. We loved our quirky flat in Bethnal Green, and found so much fun was to be had in the nearby area. The summer of 2010 was so sweet and one of the best summers ever.

A year later our bubble was burst when our nob head landlord kicked us out of our little love nest. We became increasingly impatient with looking at possible new homes, knowing that we would have to eventually move on to somewhere else in a matter of years. The costs of renting in the same area was so stupidly high too. One day, over a pint on Broadway Market, we had a deep conversation. We realised that we were still very keen on each other, and wanted to give a little more commitment to each other. We decided that rather than carry on renting, we would look at buying our very own love shack.

Spring 2011, and Ali, BamBam and I moved in with Nancy and Nigel (Ali's parents). We cleaned out the spare bedroom and lived there for six or so months. I got into gardening. BamBam made two new friends, and Ali provided many of BBQ's. It was very hard at times though. But, we knew we would soon have our own place, and could give back the space we had taken up to his parents.

A day after coming back from a lovely holiday to Morocco where my bessy mate got married, we excitedly rushed to Stoke Newington Church Street to pick up the keys to our flat. This was a very, very happy day for us. We felt on top of the worldt!

In 2012 we experienced what it is like to own your own place. We loved our flat, our independence, and the area. We hated decorating, making decisions on furniture, and having to deal with unexpected bills.

Slowly, we made the flat our own. By doing so we fell more and more in love with our new home.

Later in the year we went on a fantastic holiday to Croatia. And mid way through the holiday (it was already proving to be the best holiday I had ever experienced), Ali asked for my hand in marriage!!!

He was a real romantic, and true gent and completely blew me away.

I said yes. Then I cried. I cried A LOT!

The level of happiness you feel when your partner and best friend who has shared so much with you asks you to marry them is beyond belief. I will always remember how happy we both were.

So, 2013....  we need to plan a wedding.

We aim to have our wedding day on the same day as our 10 year anniversary. It would be ace to mark such a special day and for us to look back on our lovely and fun journey.